Instructions:  Find a quiet time that is good for both of you, and a place to sit and talk where you will not be disturbed.  Take a minute or two before you begin to sit together quietly and remind yourselves of how precious your relationship is.  Take turns completing the following sentences.  The listener should listen quietly (mirroring if you know how) before sharing your own answers.

  1. One thing I’m really looking forward to about the coming holidays is…
  2. Of all my childhood holiday memories, the one that means the most to me is…
  3. One painful childhood memory I have from this time of year is (if relevant)….
  4. One thing I’m grateful to you for as I think about getting ready for the holidays….
  5. One dream I have for our holiday celebration is…
  6. One fear or worry I have about the upcoming holidays is….
  7. What you can do to support or nurture me during this season is…
  8. One thing I can imagine doing to support or nurture you is….
  9. When the holidays are over this year what I would like us to be able to say to each other is….



Posted by Laura

Laura Marshall, LCSW, is the founder and director of the Sagebrush Center for Relationship Therapy. Her experience spans thirty years of supporting couples and individuals to create healthy and meaningful lives and relationships. She is also adjunct faculty for the New Mexico Highlands School of Social Work. She lives with her husband Steve and five sons in Farmington, New Mexico.

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