On Valentines Day: Infusing Romance Into Our Daily Lives

Ok, I’ll admit it.   I love Valentines Day.  Even when I was single with no hope of a relationship in sight I loved the possibility of passionate romance that Valentines Day implied.  Hallmark Holiday or not, Valentines Day reminds us of the importance of paying attention to our relationships, romantic, familial and platonic.  It says, “wake up and smell the red roses,” take pleasure in the love that is in your life for it is precious and easily squandered. 

I remember many years ago a young man exclaiming in bewildered voice:  “why do we need romance?  We’re married!”  And it makes sense that he would be confused.  Our culture portrays romance as something for the young, the beautiful, the courting.  The answer to his question is that romance is key to strengthening and integrating the bonds of love that hold our intimate relationships together.  Otherwise the stresses of day to day existence pull them to shreds.  Work, family, children, bills, illness, crises, celebrations, all the ins and outs of daily life take our energy till often all we can do is collapse together in front of the television at days end.  If we are not careful we forget the joy that brought us together in the first place.  Like anything that is truly important, good relationships take tending.  Romance is to love what water is to the garden – it helps us thrive and bloom.

So why celebrate Valentines Day?  Because at the end of the day love is what matters and Valentines Day gives us an excuse to make that love tangible.

So in the words of Kate Wolf:  Give Yourself to Love



Posted by Laura

Laura Marshall, LCSW, is the founder and director of the Sagebrush Center for Relationship Therapy. Her experience spans thirty years of supporting couples and individuals to create healthy and meaningful lives and relationships. She is also adjunct faculty for the New Mexico Highlands School of Social Work. She lives with her husband Steve and five sons in Farmington, New Mexico.

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