Creating Intentional Relationships

In Imago Relationship Therapy we often speak of creating intentional relationships.  I am often asked what this really means.  In it’s simplist sense an intentional relationship is one in which we are conscious of the many forces that are motivating and driving us and we make conscious choices about how to speak and act so that we may create the very best relationship we can.  What this means on a day to day basis is quite simple:

1.  Recognize and accept that you and your partner are different and experience the world differently.

2.  Take 100% responsibility for your own feelings, behaviors and choices.

3.  Do no harm in word or deed.

4.  Stretch yourself to try to understand your partner’s “world” and to meet their needs.

5.  Let go of trying to control the outcome of your conversations and trust the love and strength of your commitment to each other.

While it is not easy at first to act with intentionality, the more you do so the easier it becomes and you will begin to experience the rewards of greater trust, intimacy and growth as your relaitonship blossoms.

Posted by Laura

Laura Marshall, LCSW, is the founder and director of the Sagebrush Center for Relationship Therapy. Her experience spans thirty years of supporting couples and individuals to create healthy and meaningful lives and relationships. She is also adjunct faculty for the New Mexico Highlands School of Social Work. She lives with her husband Steve and five sons in Farmington, New Mexico.

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